Enchanting Essays Objectives ü This section is for us to share essays written by every group member ü The purpose is to learn writing techniques used by each of us Important! ü State your name, title of essay and essay question(if any) ü Take the time to read and edit essays written by others
There is a Latin proverb that goes “A friend in need is a friend indeed” and this was displayed in an unforgettable incident that occured in my life and this incident told me who my true friends were. That incident is still etched into my mind due to the important lesson in life it taught. This is how it all happened.
V Toh: The saying is too common for it be impactful.
It was a tiring day and I was relieved to hear the final whistle, which brought lessons to a close. Upon dismissal, I headed for the home and to do that I had to take the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT). I was going down the escalator when I took a wrong step, which caused me to lose my balance and I plunged headfirst into the moving steps of the escalator.
V Toh: Ouch! It must have been excruciatingly painful. Are you able to convey the pain to the reader more vividly?
My left leg landed on the hard and metallic stairs of escalator with a thud and bored the entire weight of my body which severely injured it. Many of my friends who witnessed the incident were acting as if nothing had happened but there was one friend of mine who had always stuck with me and his name was Mansor. Mansor immediately rushed to me to check my on condition, which was pretty bad as was not in a position to walk independently. Instinctively, he fished out his mobile phone and punched the numbers of the ambulance. He related the situation to the operator in a clear and coherent manner. Meanwhile, with his support, he brought me out of the MRT concourse and onto the street and onto a nearby seat.
Within minutes, the ambulance arrived and the paramedics attended to me. The paramedics told me that the injury on my left leg was very severe and I had to be admitted in a hospital. During the ride to the hospital, my parents were informed and they aghast when they heard the news. Upon reaching the hospital, I consulted a doctor who did an x-ray and told me that my left leg was fractured quite badly. Mansor, on the other hand was outside the doctor’s room relating the entire incident to my parents.
During the days I was absent from school due to the injury, Mansor would come to my house and gave me homework and explain what had happened in school on that particular day succinctly. Days passed and gradually, I healed. I thanked Mansor profusely for extending a helping hand to me when I was in distress.I would have never imagined what would have happen to me if Mansor was not by my side.
Through this incident, I found out who my true friend was and the true meaning of friendship which was to help a friend when he needs it rather then to disappear when a friend is in distress and every time I recollect this incident, I would remember what true friendship is and this thought urges me to be a true friend also.
V Toh: It is usually in instances like this that helps us appreciate our friends more. To make this story more vivid, you may want to use more vivid expressions and verbs phrases.
Family
by Kenneth and Eshwar
‘Go away; I do not want to see you again. I hate you!’ , I shouted back at my mum. I grabbed my jacket and stormed out of the house. Once again, I found myself losing my temper, only to find myself left stranded out in the dark and chilly night.
V Toh: Impactful opening.
As I walked along the empty street, a gust of cold wind sent a chill down my spine. I looked back and saw a faint light given out by the light in my bedroom. I thought of my warm and cozy bed, as well as calm and conducive atmosphere in my bedroom. ‘No’, I thought to myself. I will never want to see the look of my mother ever again.
I decided to stay over at my friend’s house. I laid on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling hanging above my head. I thought of my mother. Emotions were raging inside me. I really hated my mother for treating me like a small 5 year old child. Why must she always bother about me and not let me have more freedom? As I pondered on the question, I soon dozed off.
As the days went by, I felt that something was missing from my life. I felt lonely and desolate. Soon, the hatred and bitterness in my heart started to fade. I wished she was here beside me, giving me moral encouragement whenever I needed it. I missed her motherly love, the hugs kisses, as well as the care shown by my one and only family. Only then did I realise my mistake. I felt that my actions were very selfish. I realised how blessed I was to have a caring and loving family. I wondered how worried she must be feeling right now. I decided to face the music.
V Toh: Is this realistic?
I opened the old wooden door of my house, only to find my entire family gathered at the living room looking very worried and depressed. At the first glimpse of my mother, I ran towards her and gave her a tight and loving hug. Tears rolled down my rosy cheeks. I finally realised how important my family was to me.
V Toh: A short but effective account in conveying how much we often take our parents for granted. To imporve, you may want to consider how you can provide more background to show why you needed to leave your house.
Family (Discursive) by Raj and Yiwen I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich (Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford). The value of having a family and family relationships is taken for granted, especially in this generation where work, school and other activities undermine family time. A family provides us with love, sense of belonging and security. Family provides a sense of unity and support during various stages in our life.
V Toh: Nice lead in sentence.
Love, is the bond which holds the members of a family together regardless of how strained the relationship may be. With love, family members will seek to know and understand each other by accepting their flaws or their different personalities. It is also easier to forgive and forget the mistakes of family members as compared to those of friends because of love. Hence, family is important as they can provide kinship and love.
V Toh: Recraft your topic sentence to make this more like an extension of the introduction.
Family can also create a sense of belonging in people. No matter where you are of how far are you away from home, you can always confide in your family for advice, help and comfort. Your family can make you feel part of them and will always be standing your side, supporting you despite what happens. Thus, a family is of great importance as they can make you feel at home wherever you are.
You can feel a sense of security when with your family. They protect you while teaching and nurturing you to be able to survive in the harsh and cruel outside world. When at home with your family, you will be safe from any kind of danger because there will always be warmth and full of kinship. Therefore, the sense of security is produced only when there is family.
Family provides a sense of unity and support during various stages in our life. During the various stages in our life such as teenage life and progression to adulthood, a family provides reliable advice and a confidante to which we can express our feelings and thoughts. When are down or in dilemma, you can always look to family for emotional support. With this support, it makes it easier for us to make crucial decisions that we have to make in throughout our entire lives.
In conclusion, families are a source of love and support. They provide us a place to rely on whenever we need to. Therefore, we feel we should value our family and spend time with them more often to bond with them, benefiting everyone in the process.
V Toh: Indeed, family serves many important and critical functions. What about the lack of family support? What kinds of problems may arise? What examples can you think of?
Do consider how you can make your discussions richer by considering these questions.
Objectives
ü This section is for us to share essays written by every group member
ü The purpose is to learn writing techniques used by each of us
Important!
ü State your name, title of essay and essay question(if any)
ü Take the time to read and edit essays written by others
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The true meaning of Friendship by Raj
There is a Latin proverb that goes “A friend in need is a friend indeed” and this was displayed in an unforgettable incident that occured in my life and this incident told me who my true friends were. That incident is still etched into my mind due to the important lesson in life it taught. This is how it all happened.
V Toh: The saying is too common for it be impactful.
It was a tiring day and I was relieved to hear the final whistle, which brought lessons to a close. Upon dismissal, I headed for the home and to do that I had to take the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT). I was going down the escalator when I took a wrong step, which caused me to lose my balance and I plunged headfirst into the moving steps of the escalator.
V Toh: Ouch! It must have been excruciatingly painful. Are you able to convey the pain to the reader more vividly?
My left leg landed on the hard and metallic stairs of escalator with a thud and bored the entire weight of my body which severely injured it. Many of my friends who witnessed the incident were acting as if nothing had happened but there was one friend of mine who had always stuck with me and his name was Mansor. Mansor immediately rushed to me to check my on condition, which was pretty bad as was not in a position to walk independently. Instinctively, he fished out his mobile phone and punched the numbers of the ambulance. He related the situation to the operator in a clear and coherent manner. Meanwhile, with his support, he brought me out of the MRT concourse and onto the street and onto a nearby seat.
Within minutes, the ambulance arrived and the paramedics attended to me. The paramedics told me that the injury on my left leg was very severe and I had to be admitted in a hospital. During the ride to the hospital, my parents were informed and they aghast when they heard the news. Upon reaching the hospital, I consulted a doctor who did an x-ray and told me that my left leg was fractured quite badly. Mansor, on the other hand was outside the doctor’s room relating the entire incident to my parents.
During the days I was absent from school due to the injury, Mansor would come to my house and gave me homework and explain what had happened in school on that particular day succinctly. Days passed and gradually, I healed. I thanked Mansor profusely for extending a helping hand to me when I was in distress.I would have never imagined what would have happen to me if Mansor was not by my side.
Through this incident, I found out who my true friend was and the true meaning of friendship which was to help a friend when he needs it rather then to disappear when a friend is in distress and every time I recollect this incident, I would remember what true friendship is and this thought urges me to be a true friend also.
V Toh: It is usually in instances like this that helps us appreciate our friends more. To make this story more vivid, you may want to use more vivid expressions and verbs phrases.
Family
by Kenneth and Eshwar
‘Go away; I do not want to see you again. I hate you!’ , I shouted back at my mum. I grabbed my jacket and stormed out of the house. Once again, I found myself losing my temper, only to find myself left stranded out in the dark and chilly night.
V Toh: Impactful opening.
As I walked along the empty street, a gust of cold wind sent a chill down my spine. I looked back and saw a faint light given out by the light in my bedroom. I thought of my warm and cozy bed, as well as calm and conducive atmosphere in my bedroom. ‘No’, I thought to myself. I will never want to see the look of my mother ever again.
I decided to stay over at my friend’s house. I laid on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling hanging above my head. I thought of my mother. Emotions were raging inside me. I really hated my mother for treating me like a small 5 year old child. Why must she always bother about me and not let me have more freedom? As I pondered on the question, I soon dozed off.
As the days went by, I felt that something was missing from my life. I felt lonely and desolate. Soon, the hatred and bitterness in my heart started to fade. I wished she was here beside me, giving me moral encouragement whenever I needed it. I missed her motherly love, the hugs kisses, as well as the care shown by my one and only family. Only then did I realise my mistake. I felt that my actions were very selfish. I realised how blessed I was to have a caring and loving family. I wondered how worried she must be feeling right now. I decided to face the music.
V Toh: Is this realistic?
I opened the old wooden door of my house, only to find my entire family gathered at the living room looking very worried and depressed. At the first glimpse of my mother, I ran towards her and gave her a tight and loving hug. Tears rolled down my rosy cheeks. I finally realised how important my family was to me.
V Toh: A short but effective account in conveying how much we often take our parents for granted. To imporve, you may want to consider how you can provide more background to show why you needed to leave your house.
Family (Discursive) by Raj and Yiwen
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich (Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford). The value of having a family and family relationships is taken for granted, especially in this generation where work, school and other activities undermine family time. A family provides us with love, sense of belonging and security. Family provides a sense of unity and support during various stages in our life.
V Toh: Nice lead in sentence.
Love, is the bond which holds the members of a family together regardless of how strained the relationship may be. With love, family members will seek to know and understand each other by accepting their flaws or their different personalities. It is also easier to forgive and forget the mistakes of family members as compared to those of friends because of love. Hence, family is important as they can provide kinship and love.
V Toh: Recraft your topic sentence to make this more like an extension of the introduction.
Family can also create a sense of belonging in people. No matter where you are of how far are you away from home, you can always confide in your family for advice, help and comfort. Your family can make you feel part of them and will always be standing your side, supporting you despite what happens. Thus, a family is of great importance as they can make you feel at home wherever you are.
You can feel a sense of security when with your family. They protect you while teaching and nurturing you to be able to survive in the harsh and cruel outside world. When at home with your family, you will be safe from any kind of danger because there will always be warmth and full of kinship. Therefore, the sense of security is produced only when there is family.
Family provides a sense of unity and support during various stages in our life. During the various stages in our life such as teenage life and progression to adulthood, a family provides reliable advice and a confidante to which we can express our feelings and thoughts. When are down or in dilemma, you can always look to family for emotional support. With this support, it makes it easier for us to make crucial decisions that we have to make in throughout our entire lives.
In conclusion, families are a source of love and support. They provide us a place to rely on whenever we need to. Therefore, we feel we should value our family and spend time with them more often to bond with them, benefiting everyone in the process.
V Toh: Indeed, family serves many important and critical functions. What about the lack of family support? What kinds of problems may arise? What examples can you think of?
Do consider how you can make your discussions richer by considering these questions.